The Piano That is Killing Me

We 'inherited' a piano and no one here knows how to play it. I taught Miss. Independent how to play "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and now she believes that playing with one hand is the best way to play and she has refused taking piano lessons because well, she knows how to play, DUH MOM!

We have moved this thing from room to room, tried to sell it and even tried to GIVE IT AWAY and it's still here. There must be a reason...